Happy Valentines Day

Our wedding day.
Heidi Lee Photography
I'm blogging today from my living room with a large cup of coffee (I started drinking this again), red roses on my counter top, and freshly kissed by my love. I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop and it's raining outside, a huge thundering type of rain. Here's a secret about me, I absolutely love rain. The type that's happening outside of my house right now. I actually wished for some rain on my wedding day (no lie)- and it happened! It rained for 30 seconds during cocktail hour. I was standing by the water's edge, and had to run with my dress bundled up in my hands to get under the tent. Everyone pushed in under the tent, it got loud and warm, and I died a little I was so happy. The photo above is from that wonderful afternoon of my life.

Here's another secret about me, I've never been a huge fan of Valentines day. GASP! A forced day by society that has left me in my 29 short years of life feeling more vulnerable than loved and sometimes disappointed. I remember boycotting it in my early 20's, deciding it was a ridiculous day. This was before I met my husband.

It may have been the smartest decision I've ever made. 

When I met Brian, I insisted that I wasn't into getting presents on days that society deemed appropriate- such as Christmas, Valentines Day, etc. I insisted that I wanted our relationship and gifts and love to be more organic, controlled only by what we feel- never to be forced. He shrugged his shoulders, didn't matter to him either way. Men are funny that way.

Reflecting today, it brings tears to my eyes to think of the times he has given me flowers or incredibly special gifts for no reason at all, unannounced throughout the years. My favorite is when he comes through the door on a completely random day, with a fistful of handpicked wildflowers. I usually cry every time he does surprise me. I feel so loved because I know it is coming from a place in his heart that is so pure and unforced. Don't get me wrong, there have been Valentine's days where he has gone above and beyond with flowers and the whole lot. It's still appreciated and always surprises me because I don't expect it. I think so many women do a dis-service to their own hearts and their own relationships by having expectations of a day that is over commercialized as well as expectations of their partner which are unfair.

This morning, before he left for work he asked me, "do I have to do anything today?" I smiled and said no- knowing our un-traditional history with Valentines day. He kissed me goodbye and walked out the door. I got up to get coffee and found fresh cut roses from the garden, perfectly placed in a curry spice jar he used the night before to make dinner, with a handwritten note on the countertop. I ran with lightning speed out to the driveway to kiss him again before he drove away. How did he manage to surprise me on Valentines day?!

With that said, I encourage you to decide to enjoy the day however it comes to you.